These people are doctors...

Last week I was running on the treadmills at the Student Center for Healthy Living. The Center for Healthy Living boats a row of treadmills looking out into the beautiful scenery of a parking lot (maybe they put the treadmills there to make it seem like you're running outside? If so, it's not working). Anyway, I chose the furthest treadmill to the wall so only one person could run next to me (anti-social, I know). I got on my treadmill and noticed the treadmill next to me was "Out of Order." (Perfect, double buffer). I glanced over from time to time to read the warning that would flash across the screen: "Treadmill Unavailable. Please call the Help Desk or your Local Authorized Dealer."

During my short 3-mile run a handful of people came over to the treadmill, read the warning, and disbursed. A few started by pressing buttons, but would leave when they discovered the treadmill wasn't going to move. A few minutes after the last unsuccessful attempt a couple came looking for some treadmills. "The Boyfriend," as he'll be referred to, put on his headphones and started running on the treadmill adjacent to the broken one. "The Girlfriend," as she'll be referred to, put on her head phones and started button mashing the broken treadmill in hopes that her magical touch would make it work.

The Girlfriend attempted to enter different combinations of buttons to no success. I hesitated telling her the treadmill was broken because I figured she could read. She continued to press the start button, check to make sure it was plugged in, and every other troubleshooting technique she could think of. None of them being READING THE SCREEN. In my head I couldn't help but think, "Someday this girl is going to make lots of money as a doctor, nurse, or pharmacist?" and I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure she's extremely smart, but I wasn't about to tell her it was broken. I was totally content with running and enjoying the display of stupidity.

After a few more attempts she finally threw up her hands in disgust and turned to The Boyfriend for help. The Boyfriend got off his treadmill and proceeded to troubleshoot the problem. He pressed some buttons and tried to disconnect the emergency stop key. Surprise! No success. Meanwhile, The Girlfriend took the liberty of hijacking his treadmill. The events that transpired could only reach its full hilarity if you were there or on Danny Tanner's America's Funnest Home Videos, but The Girlfriend unaware that The Boyfriend had left his treadmill running (and at full speed) unsuspectingly stepped onto the treadmill. The Girlfriend's legs flew backwards and she proceeded to face plant onto the treadmill. She let out a loud shriek as the treadmill fed her out onto the carpet behind. She sat there for a few minutes laughing, maybe half crying, and hiding her embarrassment. I couldn't help but crack a smile and think "serves you right for not reading."

No doctors were harmed in the blogging of this event. But the profession as a whole might have taken a small hit. How did those two get into medical school?